Sooooo....my wife is REALLY bad about babies. She wants one really bad. She is going to be a fantastic mother. It doesn't help that my younger sister recently (5 months ago) had a beautiful baby boy (whom she named after me!!! :)). We go see him as often as we can, and of course, we never want to leave or put him down. He is just precious. We keep telling ourselves that we have to wait until after we get our degrees. She is working on her Bachelor's degree in Elementary Education and as stated in my biography, I am getting my Master's in Music in Music Education. Honestly, and my wife will admit this, I am the one keeping us from having a child. I am the strong one who says we need to wait. But deep down inside, I want a baby just as badly as she does. I love children, which is why I teach martial arts and music and why I have chosen my profession. Anyone in this career who does not like children is in the wrong place. But I keep remembering that I need to stay strong. It's so hard sometimes though. Especially when I'm holding "my baby". lol. No, he isn't mine of course, but he is such a cutie. But that's because he takes after his uncle! ;)
About Me
- Dré
- My name is Dakeyan Cha' Dré Graham, but most people just call me Dré. I am a second year graduate student in the Master's of Music in Music Education program at the University of Florida. I also teach the Steel Dragons Steel Drum Band at Duval Elementary. I am married to the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world, my blonde bombshell Casey Marie Graham and we have a puppy (our daughter) named Lady. She is there to quell the baby fever we are suffering!!! I am also a world martial arts competitor on the NASKA (North American Sport Karate Association) Circuit. I am a 4th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do and a 1st degree black in Wado-Ryu Karate. Karate is my hobby but music is my life. I can't wait to begin my career as an educator and look forward to the experience ahead. Life is only as good as you make it. To God be the glory.
4 comments:
Hi Dre,
Your little namesake is precious. It is such an individual thing to decide the right time to procreate, and how can we even really know the best time ourselves? My mother had me while my father was attending UF. They were only just married, just 20 years old. They did not tell their families at first; they planned to put me up for adoption. Unbeknownst to my father, my mother decided during the pregnancy that she could not part with her baby. The day I was born, my father came into the room (back then the dad had to stay in the waiting area) and said to my mom that he just could not put me up for adoption. So here I am. Many thought they were too young. The financial burden of just living, much less having an infant ultimately resulted in my father leaving school prior to graduating. My father yearns to return to school, but he educates himself with voracious reading. (Although I have a BA in math, his knowledge and skills in math and physics far exceed my own.) But if you ask him if there is anything he would not give up for even a day, it would be my mom and me and my sister. They were never rich, but they made it. They have no regrets.
My husband and I went a different way. We waited until after our degrees were earned and our careers were underway (mostly his concerns because I had such good examples that all would work out either way). We had our almost 4 year old son when we had good insurance and enough money not to worry about providing for him. However, now trying to have a brother or sister for him, my age is becoming a factor. If we are unable to have another child, I am sure that my regrets will outweigh those of my parents. Like you, I would LOVE to have 4 children!
I only share all of this to say there is no perfect time to turn your entire world upside down. When it happens, no matter how planned, no matter where in life you are, you will be surprised, your life will change in ways that are unique to you that even you cannot anticipate. I'll also tell you that your heart will open and expand so much, you'll think there is a universe in there.
I had the same experience of having a precious nephew and then a niece before having my son. I was dedicated and in love with them too, but your own child will show you sides of yourself and of your wife that you've only seen hints of so far. For the health of the baby, it is best to have insurance (and for well child visits, HMO is probably best), but the rest will fall into place. Good luck to you and your wife.
Chastity
Hi Dre',
Your nephew is absolutely adorable!
My first, Linda, was born when I was 20. I had a couple of semesters of college done, but it wasn't until after she was born that I realized I needed to go ahead and get my degree. My A.A. is from a Community College in California. My now ex-husband and I moved to Gainesville when Linda was 4 and I continued working for my B.A. in Elementary Education. Linda sat through many of my classes in Norman Hall (this is waaaaay back in 1981 & 1982), coloring or looking at books because we couldn't afford a babysitter. There were times when she went to stay with her paternal grandparents down in Marion County because we knew it was going to be a rough week or two financially with not much more than Hamburger Helper to eat. So...I would recommend making sure you are somewhat financially set to handle the added expense of a baby, and Chasity makes a very good point about health insurance. It is crucial to have some kind of medical care available for both your wife and the baby. We didn't have insurance when Marcie was born, and it took a few years to "pay her off". :)
But... as far as waiting until just the right moment and for careers to be set...those moments never seem to come. School can happen for you even with a child, it did for me. The accomplishment that I am most proud of...I earned my Masters (UF 2003) working full time as a teacher and as a divorced mother of 5, with 4 very active (in sports) children still at home. It wasn't easy, but it happened.
You and your wife will have beautiful babies! Enjoy being a couple for a little bit and it will all work out.
Have fun with little Dre'!
Kim
How cute! Children are a blessing. My husband and I waited 7 years before we had our first child. He was also the one that wanted to wait until he was done with his masters. The first semester I started on my masters degree, I found out I was pregnant. I had no idea how much I was capable of loving something until I saw the first ultrasound picture (you know the generic ones that looks like a bean?). Good luck with your decision!
Stephanie
Great blog Doc. I am getting baby fever too. Kristin is not quite there yet. The band director at my school just adopted a little girl because they could not have children, and then right after that, his wife got pregnant. WOW...double miracle. Seeing what he is going through right now makes me want a child even more.
Some day...but right now, like you guys, we are trying to get ourselves more established before bringing a new life into the world.
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